Monday, June 20, 2011
First mistake of what I'm sure will be many.
So I just talked to the intake coordinator at TYFA -- trans youth family alliance, I think. Anyhow, it's the best organization I've found. I was telling her about how I told the wig people that Cole is transgendered. So she said, "it's a medical condition, and you wouldn't tell a stranger about your child's medical condition if it were anything else, would you?" Um, no. Oops. She suggested that I could have said my little boy likes to play with wigs, or something like that. Plus I gave them my address at that store. Now I am freaked out, because the intake coordinator said that rarely, people will call Child Protective Services on parents who let their children transition. Yikes and shit (pardon my French). I guess I just assume it's best to be open with people. I'm learning that that is not the case. Sigh.
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Don't worry, Marjorie. Even if that were to happen, the CPS folks would investigate and obviously they would find there is no abuse taking place in your home.
ReplyDeleteBut still a good lesson learned...don't assume everyone is open to what you are doing. Be protective of Caley's little heart...let people take her at face value. Either they are going to assume she is a boy "dressed" as a girl, or they will just see her as a girl. She will decide what, if anything, she wants people to know. Kind of like our kids' adoption stories. You don't have to educate, explain, justify or any of that. She is who she is, period! Unless, however, you find yourself in the position of having to defend her. And then you just be the awesome mama bear you are ;)
Don't beat yourself up on this one - strikes me as opinion, not fact. If my child had a medical condition that required a wig - such as cancer - I would be very open to telling folks why I wanted a wig. So, it seems that the caution is really about other people's judgements of the situation, not that Caley has a medical condition. It is too bad that not everyone will be open to this, and I guess that is reason enough to proceed cautiously, but you can't live in fear of CPS all the time. In fact, I agree that CPS would investigate and move on.
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